Evaluation- SHOUT

  Within this specific term of my academic career, I am under the beliefs that as well as my personal skill set as an actor being greatly stretched and refined within the course of this academic section of my education- I also believe that my psyche whilst involved in my craft has been severely altered in a positive aspect; both the quality and the quantities of the roles I was allocated within this term have left a lasting impact as a training actor- most notably that of the Admissions Advisor within our National Theatre Connections entry play on the topic of selective mutism and acceptance of communication without the medium of words- the character I was portraying acted as a comedic foil to the protagonists loneliness she feels throughout the play through her differences and lack of ability to speak: the Admissions Advisor acts as a challenge for myself, not only for her role being primarily ensemble- meaning I must immerse myself within the world without many opportunities to immerse myself as more ‘central’ parts- but also the implementation of comedy within the piece, whilst maintaining a realistic acting style within the piece. Primarily, my characters aim throughout the duration of the singular act play is that of a two dimensional teacher character within the caricatured two dimensional school environment- to convince the entire student body to attend university and steer them into a clear notable direction that will ensure them success (though my character’s eccentricity is prevalent, I still believe she has dedication to her craft as an aide for children on the cusps of further education), whilst still having the depth within the character to have more minute goals within the show between the characters specific relationships formed within the show- such as the other education providers roles, such as the Classics Teacher and the Therapist- both large personalities within the show, that my character makes a point to not be able to intertwine within their level of thinking; another example of these narrative singular goals includes her dynamic with a character within the ‘Freaks and Geeks’ room in the midst of the school (a section of the school accommodating those who struggle to fit to a neurotypical environment) Holly, encouraging this student to peruse university, even if opposing the entirety fundamental purpose of the ‘Freaks and Geeks’, which leads to the latter end of the play causing the group to disband as the character I have influenced began a revolution that drives the plot forward- which leads to a substantial amount of character development to occur whilst world building in the midst of a scene featuring other actors as the focal point- I believe that the world building that my character brought into the performance was an imperative aspect of her purpose within the show as a whole; her purpose is to show the realism of the struggle within the application process for further education, and how it just feels like nobody that has experience can verbalise or articulate any advice to make the view at the other side any clearer- her job is simultaneously the least yet most helpful within the school- it causes students to expand their horizons for their potential, yet there’s no way to ensure that those students follow through to maximise their future; although this uncomfortable disconnect of an objective is exponentially shown through her scenes with Dana, it serves as my characters main theme throughout the show- a metaphor for the anxieties most students have around further education- which I believe translated quite well through the misconstrued idiocy of my dialogue within my beginning scene, however J believed was excelled by what my character did within the world, rather than what she said- which links to the main objective within the show. I believe my character engaged the audience to a moderate extent; however I feel the play’s busy nature caused much of the world building and subtext to be drowned out by more imperative narrative events- and whilst this being understandable, this lead to my character becoming a two dimensional comedic relief within the sights of the audience, which is quite dismaying; in spite of this, however, I believe that my comedic storytelling through my scene was perfectly construed in a natural manner, whilst also leaving a memorable experience for the audience members- whilst I couldn’t quite grasp the exact tone within the character I had originally set out for, I believe this revised version made for a more enjoyable experience from an audiences standpoint; this devised interpretation of the character still aimed to make her objectives apparent within the show, however pulled her comedic attribute to the forefront, leaving me, as an actor, quite vulnerable and stretched- however I believe this direction was the correct path to take, especially for myself as an actor, as well as for the sake of the character.

  Within this performance, vocal clarity was of upmost importance, despite a singular monologue being my only time to vocally perform within the singular act show; not only is it always imperative to make an actor’s diction an imperative focus whilst performing, in order for the audience to follow the narrative coherently and demonstrably- however, within this performance, the expectation was lifted to new heights, with our diction being a reoccurring denominator within feedback from the National Theatre for the years that is a criticism on our poor Teeside accents this home performance was of no exception- pronunciation was dropped throughout the show, as well as actors losing breath at the end of statements, causing volume to deplete during ends of phrases- which I believe I, too, contributed to and the ends of my longer phrasings- however this was most prevalent within the final few words of my monologue, which I believe is the reasoning as to why my effort slightly deteriorated through the the finale of my my vocalised sequence- whilst no excuse, I had allowed myself to become preoccupied with removing my props from the table within my character’s office, in order to audit a safe environment for the protagonist moving forward- despite my flaw whilst ending my section, I still believe this has shown my improvement of breath control, a prime target that I set to achieve throughout this academic year, continuing from my developments towards this goal with my work within acting through song in our prior project. Another goal which I have managed to meet to a moderate extent from my objectives predating the beginnings of the academic year was the broadening of my movement technique and physicality as a whole prospect; which I believe was encapsulated well into the Admissions Advisor, capturing and highlighting my immense progress for the beginning of my journey until this moment- for this performance, I had to demonstrate the nuances of a teacher without making the character a satirical caricature that subtracts from the depth of the performance as a whole, which led to the intense indulgence into the tutors which walked around the college I attend, including our own admissions advisor for more unique quirks within the character, which I adapted over to my performance, such as the use of her body to lean into a document she struggles to see, to portray her overstimulation and lack of concentration due to her sheer workload, as well other noticeable physical attributes when interacting with props, such as licking her finger between every time she flicks a page- and similar nuances associated to those in teaching professions. Another imperative aspect of my character was her walking cycle, and how her character moved around the space of the school building, which consisted of short, spritely steps, to distinguish her friendly, yet rushed nature, whilst utilising the props for the character, such as the teacher’s lanyard, which held an array of objects, such as an vast collect of keys- as an homage to our tutor within our course- to hold to her stomach area, to minimise excessive noise within the stage environment; the lanyard was not the only imperative prop assigned to the Admissions Advisor- the glasses which I usually wear in detriment to the characters I play (such as period character, such as Beth March), supplemented into the physical aspect of the comedy within this character- in reference to our admissions advisor within the college building removing her glasses to look at physical documents, yet making a point to wear them whilst partaking in any other activity- this added a level of physical development for myself to fall back into within moments of the performance when I felt other aspects of my character were lacking. 

  This entirely new inventive character developed into a more difficult challenge, however, when it came to interacting with certain members and peers within the cast, in regards to the show- especially with the other notable teacher authoritarian figures within the show, which already had developed an intricate relationship amongst their characters , which left my character to feel disregarded and quite disconnected from the performance in those regards, which led to a mental block being opposed to me as an actor; it was, admittedly, quite late into the process when this became a prevalent issue which I recognised as a pressing issue in need of being resolved- however it would be unprofessional and unnatural to attempt to redraft army fellow perks intricate workings their characters in order to make my character more naturally incorporated within the performance; this, whilst being reasonable, left me with limiting options, giving me a detriment of issues to resolve- this led to me to the connection between the prior mentioned character of Holly and my own- this not only gave my character a more narrative fitting purpose, yet also enhanced that of the fellow actor I cooperated with, resulting in her character having a narrative driven reasoning to motivate her character, allowing both of us to be able to become more highly invested within the performance; whilst this led to a positive outcome within the final product of the performance, this still leaves me with an unresolved issue in regards to my work ethic, especially within this performance- I felt as though my cooperation within ensemble moments within the piece was minimal for the most part, which is a fresh problem spouting from this project- the heightened physical elements such as choreographed transitions resulted in me taking a more relaxed approach to the larger image within the show, a fact which I regret immensely, as I believe a higher level of involvement in this would highly benefited me and my overarching issue of physicality- which I believe will severely stunt my growth as an actor within future projects beyond education, if I failed to address it. In spite of this, I am under the impression that my creative liberties within this character strengthened this role, which undoubtedly were heightened by research which drew from real experiences with educational providers whilst growing up; as a neurodivergent person myself, I have found the patronising nature of teachers whilst talking to students with disabilities, or traits that aren’t seen as ‘socially normative’ creates an overwhelming experience for the child- which is what I initially wanted to portray within my character- however, as I developed my character, I began to construe that perhaps patronisation is not the optimal route to portray this character: not only had many other roles adapted this concept and perfected it to suit their characters, it didn’t suit the direction I envisioned for the character- though I am an advocate for pointing out the flaws within the education system, I believe a piece to promote hope to those facing indifference shouldn’t have every authoritarian figure act in place of a villain; I made the creative liberty to simply my teacher character inexperienced, rather than ignorant- I used my own emotional memory to link with my characters, making her younger self a member of the socially outcasted group within school, who were advised to never attend university, giving my character motivation to attempt to give everything an equal push towards further education- the push she wishes she had.

  In denouement, I am under the impression that this project has truly expanded my skills and experience as an actor- the main challenge of this term of working to create a convincing primarily through ensemble performance has served to teach and refine skills to an immaculate standard, which I never envisioned on indulging in during this period of my journey to creating a career in acting for myself; this has perfectly tied most loose ends within my college education- with my final stretch I feel I must push towards being intimacy within a stage setting; not in a situation regarding an already existing romantic relationship, much like Mars Darling- I would like to experiment with the emotions linked with finding love and experiencing that onstage; within our next project, intimacy is a reoccurring theme, which I hope I have an opportunity to explore.