Where I Began- An Evaluation of My First Year

   Throughout my academic journey throughout our first half of our extensive two year education- I have been privileged enough to have my acting abilities stretched continuously, through the numerous array of characters I have portrayed on stage and screen- all ranging in motivations, morality, age, and mental states; which helped me develop, not only as an actor, but as a human being; at the beginning of my academic journey into acting, I was highly introverted, and lacked the ability to connect with many people, in regards to performance, and beyond- which left the development of my acting abilities severely stunted from the rate they were developing throughout the first half of my secondary education- these basic life skills were developed through the vast array of arm up activities and drama games, which not only expanded my skill set, it also expanded my mindset, making me much more willing for change and sporadically planned events- however, the layout of my adventure throughout our first academic year lead to my confidence growing exponentially, with my credits including promenade theatre, realism, period acting, supporting artistry, voice over work, promotional material and becoming a beginner level playwright- which was developed through our extra-curricular ‘National Theatre: New Views’ writing competition, which had my script delve into personal aspects within my life, in order to create a play of acceptance of your own self worth, regardless of your neurodivergence, or even lack there of - which helped me become vulnerable enough to truly embrace myself.

  To begin our academic year, we began with a promenade theatre piece titled the ‘Ghost Light Tours’, a horror immersive piece of theatre, which moved audiences through the space of a local and renowned theatre, which not only immediately led to immediate networking, yet it also threw most actors within our academic year group- including myself- into an uncomfortably large expectation straight away, which I decided to try and face fully- I made the decision to audition for the female tour guide based on the first theatre manager of the partner theatre which we were performing in- a stern authoritative figure called Mrs Chadwick; who would allow me to not only immediately develop a vital skill within my skill set- that of improvisation- it would also force me into a place where it was imperative that I interact with a vast number of the company directly; despite my reasoning, I still found my first auditioning process to be one of the most difficult things I have ever tackled as an actor- we were to present a pre-written supernatural story in an engaging way to just our tutor in a singular room- it took me a considerable amount of time in order to compose myself, so that I could begin my audition, however the relief once beginning my audition, and feel myself immerse in a completely different environment through my own storytelling was a blissful experience, and whilst this didn’t make the following dread in comparison to audition processes after this one, it certainly broke the ice into my acting career- one I wouldn’t trade for the world. Within the show, I had ample opportunity to collaborate with various styles of actors, ranging from across the academic years on the course, with my touring partners incorporating both a first year actor and a second year actor- which immediately persuaded me to integrate myself into the diversity of the company; this led to an immediate heightening of confidence within my acting ability- as well as opportunities to devise and characterise a historical figure in a way that a modern audience could engage with, whilst staying true to the character’s legacy- which not only developed my ability to characterise in a way that’s unique to my acting style, yet also opened my eyes to the ideologies of practitioners that spent their lives work to create universally accepted techniques, in which aided me in the beginnings of my acting career, such as the basic teachings of that of Stanislavsky, and his teachings on emotional memories, and his methods of the ‘Magic If’ if that emotional memory is not present- which helped immerse not only myself, yet also the audiences watching the live performance within the world of my character. Having this style of performance be my introduction into the industry may have been an aspect of the process that shook me slightly, it truly helped plant the seed that has allowed me to bloom to be such an experience actor within a singular year of training- the role of Mrs Chadwick will always act as a role of significant importance to me, as it allowed me to release most of my anxieties surrounding performing, allowing me to be able to experiment with pushing my characterisation further in future projects.  

  After the end of our promenade piece, we were eased into our second stage performance of our academic year, being the infamous light hearted piece titled ‘Wizard of Oz’, which greatly engaged me immediately from picking up the script; I initially took great interest with the female protagonist of Dorothy, however my tutor advised me away from this choice, as her lascivious of character development or unique character traits would make for a valid and waste of a choice for me within my point of my acting career- which I entirely agree with- which led to me perusing the iconic villain from within the show- the Wicked Witch of the West, a character who would push me through her outlandish and large character, pushing me to fully embrace the surreal aspects of the show, and immerse myself fully into the land of Oz; which immediately posed a severe difference from the horror landscape I had previously been immersed within as a result of our prior project- my audition piece cemented the obscurity of the piece, leading me initialised my physicality and vocal nuances in order to enhance the character, which included the witches infamous shrill cackle, which led to me also learning to persevere my voice and the importance of vocal performance (which would be further enhanced within our brief appearance within a Christmas performance, which very slightly engaged in acting throughout song)- as well as the importance of physicality- the Wicked Witch of the West in many aspects stayed similar to that of Mrs Chadwick, a large, controlling female figure- however varied greatly through the scale of how far that concept was taken- and how these values are completely exaggerated to create a more culturally perceived villain, whilst also being able to incorporate my own unique qualities and ideas to the character, which included her much more flamboyant movements, expressing much of her emotions through the use of her hands, to exaggerate certain phrasings within the show, which was an unnatural aspect which I had to adapt to fit the theming of the piece, as well as my own stylistic and artistic choices. In addition to this, this began an experiment with different accents and vocal afflictions, as previously mentions; as the landscape of Oz was set in American fantasy, I had to incorporate certain quirks with the American accent into my already crafted voice for the villainous character, further increasing my vocal flexibility. In addition to this, we  had to utilise our character building abilities, in order to excel our ensemble roles, which couldn’t overshadow the more ‘major’ characters, whilst also avoiding making the scenes seem two dimensional- these aspects helped me connect closer with the company, leading to my first experience with working as an ensemble, a collective, rather that as an individual. Coinciding with the stage performance of the ‘Wizard of Oz’, I began to experiment within short Christmas films directed by our filming crew within our campus, with a variation of supporting characters, such as all police officer within a comedy film, as well as a an abrasive half of a pairing of homeless punks- which both entailed aspects which strengthen my resolve as an actor, whilst also enhancing skills in which were being strengthened through my stage training, including my vocal afflictions through the means of specific accents- my police officer role entailed a heavy Liverpoolian (Scouse) accent, which worked to strengthen my vocal nuances within the ‘Wizard of Oz’; as well as the skills I had learnt through these experiences, I had also discovered the environments whilst on set of a screen production, which helped to broaden my horizons on different media in which acting is necessary.

  Following the stage performance of our festive productions of the ‘Wizard of Oz’, we deviated from pantomime styled characterisation of the last project, and re-centred our attentions onto contemporary drama and- most evidently- realism; our National Theatre Connections entry was a mystery piece titled ‘Old Times’, which followed the story of a group of teenagers recounting the events of a tragedy involving the death of a police officer as a result of their friendship group- which heavy themes throughout, such as substance abuse, cancer and religion, which led me to create a severe contrast to my previous theatrical roles; I auditioned for the role of Amma, a character whom has turned to alcoholism in order to cope with the events of the childhood events portrayed within the play- the audition process itself was already a subversion of the traditional audition process we had previously experienced within prior projects- they relied on group chemistry, rather than individual performance; which enhanced my abilities of collaboration with performance within a more personal, in depth approach, rather than on a larger, less personalised basis. The role of Amma severely differed from prior roles I had interpreted- not only was this character much more reliant on devising, in order to build a more indulgent character within the intense world, she also carried much heavier themes and connotations within her demeanour than my previous roles, meaning that’s this gave me an opportunity to delve into the intense mental psyche of a real person with severe mental issues, opposed to roles such as the Wicked Witch of the West, who was a highly surreal character, with quite a clear mould to how the audience are expected to perceive her; Amma was a lot more sporadic in terms of audience expectation, which gave me a chance to experiment with the comedic aspects of her alcoholism, as well as the grave aspects of her trauma linking to her substance abuse- which challenged me, as other roles I have had previously have been quite confident within themselves, whereas the character of Amma led me to experiment with the ideology of faked confidence masking true insecurity and vulnerability, making for a much emotional complex character, rather than physically engaging; the actual story behind the character is the audiences reason for intrusive, rather than physical attributes, or the assigned role within the show, much like the tour guide Mrs Chadwick from the beginning of the year. In addition to this role, I had the opportunity to act as a supporting actor within our feature film for this year titled ‘Counterpunch’, through a lengthy party scene- which enhanced my ability to work within an ensemble, however through a screen setting, rather than onstage.

  To conclude the final section of my first academic year, I began a highly project dense final term, including my participation within a pairing of stage shows, one being the classical period feminist piece titled ‘Little Women’, in which I auditioned for the role of Beth March, in order to broaden my acting expertise further, with two primary aspects within her character; beginning with her vulnerability and innocence as a character, which was never an idea I had an opportunity to fully explore within my current assortment of characters at the time , as well as the concept of childhood, as fully exploring playing a younger character, and being able to expand my playing demographic; whilst also incorporating the challenges of acting within the place and period with the story- being within the time and place of the American Civil War; meaning I had to portray the American accent throughout the character, as well as the middle-upper class decorum and mannerisms of the time, through my vocal afflictions, as well as physicality throughout the character- this was taught through the period ballroom dancing, as an example, which not only demonstrates the physicality, it also explores the period, which strengthened these aspects within this character; these strenuous challenges within the character, however this led to a decline within my confidence, as a result of the constant mental self critiques I kept inflicting upon myself- which caused a stunt in progress within this project: in spite of this, I was able to continue my development on vulnerability within my role with our final stage project- a seaside comedic piece titled ‘The Last Resort’, in which I played a teenager, who was struggling with themes of rape and pregnancy at the extremely young age of 14, which extended my previously explored themes of childhood tragedy I had began to explore within our previous period piece in a subverted direction- following a contemporary narrative with modern connotations of the critiques on seaside rape culture, rather than a commentary on the removal of a family dynamic in the name of scarlet fever; this allowed me to explore a range of examples within the topic of childhood, as well as tragedy- widening my capabilities within both fields which the plays expanded upon- in spite of ‘The Last Resort’ being a comedic piece, it carried heavy themes throughout, which were primarily explored within my character, which gave me an extended challenge of carrying the heavier aspects of the play within my own narrative, in contrast to the themes of the majority of the play. In addition to my stage roles developing my skill set within this term of performance, I also had many screen opportunities within this segment of the year, including that of a large range of supporting artists- most notably that of Tie, a voice over to an item of clothing belonging to a schizophrenic detective within a short film titled ‘Red Herring’- which led to my first exposure within the vast work of voice acting; I auditioned for all inanimate objects within the schizophrenic detective’s mind, with varying and juxtaposing personalities, however the underlying theme within the personification of Tie was a representation of the detective’s self loathing- I created this through making my vocals a lot more heavy and dragged along the soundscape to create the sense that every word my character spoke to be a burden- which was further enhanced by the editing of the final piece, which translated to a much lighter, yet still cluttered product; all the roles within this term clearly demonstrates my flexibility as an actor, and shows how many different types of characters I can play, Spanx how two pieces of the same genre will still be completely difference characters.

  To summarise my plethora of roles within my first academic years- spanning from the beginnings of the year, up until the very end- they have greatly accelerated my capabilities as an actor, allowing myself to expand my boundaries as an actor, whilst also being able to construe my limit from each project to the next; as well as extending my confidence, not only as a performer, but as a human being in a general sense, making it so I can interact with a wide range of people in a comfortable manner. In spite of this, however, there are demonstrable strains within my acting which need expanding within my second academic year; I would like to play a plethora of much less mentally constricting roles, and have an opportunity to play somewhat of a comedic role, as well as exploring the fundamentals of acting throughout sing within a more extensive manner- as well as hoping to develop on stage relationships, whether these be platonic aspects, such as motherhood (since the ideologies of sisterhood and friendships has already been extensively covered within the previous academic year), as well any form of intimacy whilst in stage, such as romance- or general intimate gestures, such as stage kissing. In addition to this, I would like to extend my hand into the medium of screen, in order to try and have the opportunity to explore a main role sense within a screen piece- as well as expand my basic acting skills, such as investigating monologues- contemporary and Shakespeare- in order to prepare for my auditions, so that I can continue into further education.